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The knowledge that our children are safe, happy and emotionally sound is one of our greatest concerns. If they were being traumatized by something at school or, even worse, the attentions of a predator, we would want to be the first to know.

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child – leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

“Children don’t seem to get as much respect as other members of society,” says Julie Scandora, teacher and author of the book ‘Rules Are Rules.’ “They experience the same emotional obstacles as adults, but this is often overlooked by grown-ups. Parents need to treat children with respect and ensure a trusting relationship.”

Here are five of Julie’s tips to help you communicate more effectively with your children:

1. Listen. It sounds obvious, but if your children don’t think they will be heard, they won’t go to you with the hard questions or problems.

2. Create opportunities for interaction with your kids. Families spend so much time apart these days. Use ‘car time’ – such as the 20-minute drive to school – as a time to communicate with your children.

3. Lead by example. Far too many parents opt for the ‘do as I say not as I do’ method. But this sends mixed messages to children regarding important situations.

4. Respect the child’s intuition. We all have ‘gut feelings,’ and if kids are encouraged to trust theirs, they will be able to heed their intuition in dicey situations when we aren’t around to help.

5. Don’t confuse ‘respect’ with ‘giving in.’ It is important that the parental role is not usurped. Don’t give in to kids just to diffuse a problematic situation. Instead communicate with them and let them know why rules are rules.

By showing our children that we are receptive to what they have to say and that we are willing to talk with them, not just at them, we can help them gain confidence and maturity, but we need to make sure we are practicing what we preach.

“Perhaps we need to start with ourselves, don’t we!” laughs Julie, “But if we give our children the respect we give our peers, they will be better prepared to deal with whatever life throws at them. And when they encounter something for which they are still too young to deal with by themselves, they’ll naturally come to us for advice.”

About Julie Scandora

Julie Scandora is a teacher, editor, author and mother of three. She holds a BA from Smith and an MBA from the University of Washington and has taught children in schools and delivered lectures and workshops to adults. Julie has been an editor and assistant publisher for numerous publications. She is also a professional artist specializing in watercolors and is represented in several distinguished galleries. Julie lives in Seattle.

What's Your Hormonal Type? by Susan Lark, MD

Research shows that a woman’s diet profoundly affects her hormonal makeup. But foods that support hormonal health in young women are different from those that help balance hormones in women 50 and older.

That’s why every woman needs to know her hormonal type, says women’s health expert Susan Lark MD. Dr. Lark is the first physician to identify the three distinct hormonal types in women, a discovery that offers new ways to address common conditions associated with hormonal imbalances — including weight gain, PMS, fibroid tumors, low libido, dry wrinkly skin, brittle bones, mental fog, and insomnia.

Dr. Lark explains an easy way to find out which of three hormonal types you are, and offers guidance on foods to choose or avoid, depending on your unique hormonal profile.

Type #1: Estrogen Dominance. This type is usually a woman who is younger and menstruating. She often produces too much estrogen, which has an expansive and growth-stimulating effect on the body, and too little progesterone, which is more contractive and has a growth-limiting effect.

** Common symptoms: PMS, menstrual cramps, irregular menstrual periods, heavy menstrual bleeding, bloating, oily skin and hair, fibroid tumors, endometriosis, and/or mood swings.

Type #2: Estrogen deficiency/fast processor. This type is a woman who is in menopause (see below for symptoms) with too little estrogen. Her brain and body chemistry is imbalanced toward more excitatory chemicals like dopamine, norepinephrine, and epinephrine that stimulate, speed up, and overheat body processes and chemistry. She tends to show more of a deficiency in chemicals like serotonin, GABA, and taurine, which slow down or inhibit the body’s chemical and physiological processes. This type has too much “speed up” and not enough “slow down.”

** Common symptoms: Anxious, wiry, thin dry skin and tissues, hot flashes, night sweats, insomnia, vaginal dryness, sore joints, rheumatoid arthritis, increased risk for heart disease, breast cancer, and osteoporosis.

Type #3: Estrogen deficiency/slow processor. This type is a woman who is also in menopause (see below), but has the opposite body type and temperament. The estrogen deficient/slow processor will often suffer from typical menopausal symptoms. However, because she tends more toward the production of inhibitory chemicals like serotonin, taurine, and GABA that calm and slow down the body, and is deficient in the stimulating and excitatory chemicals like dopamine and norepinephrine, she tends to lack energy, sex drive, mental acuity, and zest for life.

** Common symptoms: Excess weight and more difficulty losing weight, fluid retention, thicker bones and connective tissue, thicker skin and hair, placid temperament, lack of energy, low libido, poor mental acuity, lack of zest for life, osteoarthritis, increased risk for breast cancer and heart disease.

Symptoms of menopause. You are likely in menopause if you have 4 or more of the following signs of estrogen deficiency. If so, the next step is to get your hormone levels tested.

• You are 46 or older.
• Last period was 12 months or longer ago.
• Periods are lighter, less frequent, and of shorter duration (late perimenopause).
• Hot flashes.
• Intercourse is painful.
• Desire for sex has faded.
• Difficulty achieving orgasm.
• Frequent vaginal infections.
• Leak urine when you laugh, cough, sneeze, exercise, or wait too long to void.
• Lost your zest for life.
• Difficulty sleeping through the night.
• Frequently tired.
• Anxious and irritable.
• Forget small details.
• Skin is drier, thinner, and more wrinkled.
• Muscles are losing their tone.
• Gaining weight.
• Joints and/or muscles ache.
• Itchy, crawly skin.
• Sometimes feel as if electric shocks were  going through your body.

About Dr. Susan Lark
Dr. Lark has penned more than a dozen books, including her new one coauthored with Kimberly Day, Dr. Susan Lark’s Hormone Revolution (Portola Press, www.drlark.com). She pioneered the use of self-care treatments such as diet, nutrition, exercise, and stress management techniques in the field of women’s health, and has lectured extensively throughout the United States. Dr. Lark served on the clinical faculty of Stanford University Medical School and taught in Stanford’s Primary Care Associate Program for many years.

If coffee, cigarettes and food have left their mark on your teeth, you’re not alone.  There are plenty of people who would try anything to get back their pearly whites.

“Teeth naturally yellow for a number of reasons including smoking, eating highly pigmented foods, drinking coffee, tea or red wine, treatment with antibiotics, trauma, and too much fluoride and tartar accumulation,” according to Elisa Mello, DDS, from NYC Smile Design, a New York-based cosmetic and restorative dental practice.  But did you know that Mother Nature has some natural solutions to getting back your pearly whites?  Here are some tips provided by Dr. Mello:

Dos

• Eat foods that act like detergents and whiten teeth naturally. To keep teeth bright and prevent yellowing, you need to remove the staining bacteria by chewing certain crunchy fruits and vegetables that produce high salivary flow and actually work like tiny toothbrushes to help scrub away stubborn stains over time.  So, take a bite out of apples, carrots, pears, guavas, cauliflower and cucumbers.
• Eat lots of dark green vegetables.  Vegetables like broccoli, lettuce and spinach act like a barrier on teeth by creating a film that prevents stains from recurring and can actually help scrub away stubborn stains over time.
• Eat lots of high-fiber and whole foods—they act as natural tooth cleansers.
• Mash a few strawberries in a bowl and then take your finger and spread the pulp all over your teeth.  Leave it on a minute or two, and then thoroughly rinse and brush it off.
• Sip through a straw to protect your teeth from stain-makers like coffee, tea, red wine and cola.
• Drink plenty of water to keep the teeth hydrated.

Don’ts

• The rule of thumb is that anything that can stain a white T-shirt can stain your teeth too. That means most varieties of berries, as well as soy sauce, red wine, many fruit juices, coffee, tea, and cola. You don’t have to avoid them altogether, but immediately after indulging, rinse out your mouth with water, brush your teeth or chew gum.
• Keep in mind that citrus fruits contain acid that can cause enamel to deteriorate over time.
• Be aware that those sports drinks, energy drinks and fitness waters contain organic acids which are known to break down calcium. So they’re especially good at eroding your teeth.  Recent studies show they were more damaging to tooth enamel than cola-based drinks.
• Reduce your intake of acidic foods like vinegar. Foods that are slightly acidic open up the pores of the tooth enamel allowing for easy staining.
• Avoid highly processed sugars and high-fructose corn syrup, especially sticky foods that maintain contact with the teeth for a longer period of time.
• Extremely hot or cold liquids are dangerous to your white smile because they change the temperature of your teeth.  This temperature change causes teeth to expand and contact, allowing stains to penetrate your teeth.
• Tobacco is the biggest culprit in quickly staining your white teeth.

“Thorough cleaning by a dentist or hygienist will remove most external staining from teeth caused by food and tobacco. Using a whitening toothpaste can also help remove these surface stains between dental visits. If stains have been present for years, you may need to have your teeth professionally whitened to remove these more stubborn external stains,” notes Dr. Mello, a Clinical Assistant Professor at NYU College of Dentistry.

“Teeth with internal stains caused by the aging process, antibiotics and trauma can be bleached, veneered or crowned. While each of these methods is safe and effective, your dentist will recommend which treatment is appropriate for you depending on the state of your teeth and the results that you wish to achieve,” adds Dr. Mello.

For more information please go to www.nycsmiledesign.com

Always on the lookout for fun new finds for your wee one(s), here are a few of our latest favorites… BabiePlates

BabiePlates are the trendy Swedish baby name license plate and the next smash hit baby accessory product from Sweden…An ideal baby gift from grandparents, godparents, relatives, and friends.

Since its stateside debut in January, BabiePlates have been featured in American Baby, Kiwi, and Life After 50 magazines, and online in Celebrity Baby Blog, The Daily Candy Kids LA, and many more. BabiePlates range from $39.95 to $49.95, and are all custom-made after you place your order. In addition to your child’s name, you may choose from a flag, picture, or birth-date– all with safety reflector foil, perfect for those evening strolls! BabiePlates can be used to easily identify baby strollers, as a decorative sign for rooms, in baby memoirs, or however your heart desires. With so many options, BabiePlates are the perfect, chic, easy gift for showers, housewarmings, engagements, etc.

Visit online at www.babieplates.com

I have many friends who not only rarely sleep with their husbands, they can’t even talk about it. I would go even further and suggest that most of their conversations probably move them further away from intimacy than towards it. Connecting with our verbal language has it’s limits- especially since men and women, don’t just speak differently, we also hear differently. This is why I urge all of my closest friends to explore an entirely different dialogue, one where the spoken word is left outside the door, and the conversation is lead and answered with what some would argue is our true intelligence- the body.

Our bodies do have a profound intelligence that we rarely give them credit for . Emotions are not actually thoughts running around your brain, although this is how we often describe them. Actually emotions are visceral experiences that live in one’s body, as true as chills on a windy night or burning skin in a late spring sun.

A conversation without words is often times the only answer in a conjugal life. It took me a very long time to learn this. The countless ways that I would rephrase my frustration with my husband’s silences and perceived lack of interest was continuously lost on deaf ears. I’m not sure the messages ever even reached his ears, my expression and body language was loud enough for him to get my negativity toward him with out needing to hear a word.

Contrary to popular belief, these wordless conversations of the body, have nothing to do with being “in the mood”?. In fact, if you haven’t been physically intimate in a while, then the mood concept is a moot point. A physical conversation requires a willingness to be vulnerable enough to be touched. To allow your body to truly feel someone with you, has nothing to do with sexual arousal, and yet with out this permission, sexual arousal is impossible.

Listening and asking questions with the body are skills we mastered as children. Some of these conversations will culminate in sexual pleasure, some may provide a physical reflection of the borders that keep you separate- in either case, the journey of opening up to your own body will change the conversation. I guarantee that by taking the conversation to the body you will hear something that words could not communicate. Physical conversations can only help to make the subsequent verbal conversations kinder and more meaningful.

One common misperception about adopting green practices around the home is that doing so will cost more money. But this may be true only in the short run. There are certainly some up-front outlays to converting a conventional backyard into a more environmentally friendly space (like any landscaping job), but homeowners should be able to make their money back within a few years through savings on their water and yard service bills alone.

Landscapes designed with the principles of nature and wildlife habitat in mind are often referred to as “naturescapes” (or “xeriscapes” when they also require little water to maintain). They usually replace most lawn grass and instead populate space with native plants that are attractive to wildlife for food or shelter.

According to the nonprofit PlantNative, maintaining a green backyard can cost up to 90 percent less than keeping up a traditional lawn-based landscape. “Since naturescapes effectively take care of themselves, there is little or no maintenance and hence little or no maintenance cost,” says the group. The average American lawn costs about $700 yearly to maintain, says PlantNative, which also points out that the average household lawnmower is used upwards of 40 hours a year, the equivalent of a full work week.

Melissa Santiago, a researcher with Ohio State University who authored a fact sheet on the benefits of managing property for wildlife, couldn’t agree more: “Maintaining wildlife habitat or other natural areas can be a cost-effective approach to land management.” She recommends that landowners with room to spare plant one or more rows of native trees and shrubs as so-called “shelterbelts” that provide wildlife habitat and also provide shade in summer (to reduce air conditioning costs) and wind resistance in winter (they have been shown to reduce heating costs by as much as 30 percent).

Tax breaks for greening up your residential landscape are few and far between, but do exist. The state of Indiana offers tax breaks to landowners who convert a minimum of 15 acres over to habitat suitable for native wildlife. Many other state governments offer landowners similar assistance for maintaining habitat for threatened wildlife. And municipalities across the arid southwestern U.S. offer various incentives for homeowners who cut water use, whether through xeriscaping or any other means.

To get started converting your yard over, contact a local nursery well-versed in native landscaping to lend some informal or professional expertise. To find a nursery in your area that fits the bill, consult PlantNative’s free online directory of native plant nurseries. Or, if you want to do your own homework, check out the National Wildlife Federation’s free online Native Plant Guide (which covers the 50 U.S. states) or the Canadian Wildlife Federation’s guidebook Backyard Habitat for Canada’s Wildlife (available in print for $19.95 plus shipping).

CONTACTS: PlantNative, www.plantnative.org; National Wildlife Federation, www.nwf.org; Canadian Wildlife Federation, www.cwf-fcf.org.

Article courtesy of E/The Environmental Magazine

THE COMPLETE WHOLE GRAINS COOKBOOK written by best-selling author Judith Finlayson offers an abundance of recipes for year-round cooking, along with in-depth nutritional information and facts about the potential impact of whole grains on health.

Recipes from THE COMPLETE WHOLE GRAINS COOKBOOK: 150 Recipes for Healthy Living by Judith Finlayson (Robert Rose Inc., February 2008; Softcover/$24.95)

Wheat Berry Minestrone with Leafy Greens
Makes 6 main-course servings

Vegan Friendly

Here’s a hearty meal in a bowl that makes a delicious lunch or light supper any time of the year. Wheat berries combined with legumes and leafy greens, such as kale or Swiss chard, make a soup that is equally delicious and nutritious, containing a very high amount of dietary fiber, among other nutrients. I like to serve this soup for supper, accompanied by whole-grain bread and a simple green salad. Leftovers make an excellent second meal, a great snack, or a superb welcome home for hungry travelers.

2 cups cooked white kidney beans or 1 can (14-19 oz/394-798 mL) beans, drained and rinsed (see Tips)
4 cups reduced-sodium vegetable or chicken stock, divided
1 tbsp olive oil
2 onions, chopped
4 stalks celery, diced
4 cloves garlic, minced
2 tsp dried Italian seasoning
_ tsp cayenne pepper
1 cup wheat, spelt or Kamut berries, rinsed and drained
1 can (14oz/398 mL) no-salt-added diced tomatoes with juice
2 cups water
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
8 cups coarsely chopped, trimmed kale or Swiss chard (See Tips)
Crostini, optional (see Tips)
Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, optional
Extra virgin olive oil

In a food processor, combine beans with 1 cup (250 mL) of the stock and purée until smooth. Set aside.

In a large saucepan or a Dutch oven, heat oil over medium heat for 30 seconds. Add onions and celery and cook, stirring, until celery is softened, about 5 minutes. Add garlic, Italian seasoning and cayenne and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Add wheat berries, tomatoes with juice, water, reserved bean mixture and remaining 3 cups (750 mL) of the stock and bring to a boil.

Reduce heat to low. Cover and simmer until wheat berries are almost tender, about 1 hour. Stir in kale. Cover and cook until kale and wheat berries are tender, about 15 minutes.

When ready to serve, ladle soup into bowls. Float 1 or 2 crostini in each bowl, if using. Sprinkle liberally with Parmesan, if using, and drizzle with olive oil.

Tips: For this quantity of beans, soak and cook 1 cup (250 mL) dried beans.

For enhanced flavor, if you have a boot of Parmesan, the tough rind that is left over from a whole piece, add it to the soup along with the tomatoes.

To make crostini: Brush 8 to 10 baguette slices with olive oil on both sides. Toast under preheated broiler, turning once, until golden, about 2 minutes per side.

When using leafy greens such as kale or Swiss chard, be sure to remove the tough stems before chopping. Also, since they can be quite gritty pay extra attention when washing. I always swish the leaves around in a basin of lukewarm water to remove any grit, then rinse thoroughly under cold running water before using.

Unless you have a stove with a true simmer, after reducing the heat to low, I recommend placing a heat diffuser under the pot to prevent the mixture from boiling. This device also helps to ensure the grains will cook evenly and prevents hot spots, which might cause scorching, from forming. Heat diffusers are available at kitchen supply and hardware stores and are made to work on gas or electric stoves.

Nutrients per serving:
Calories: 278
Protein: 12.8 g
Carbohydrates: 53.9 g
Fat (Total): 3.9 g
Saturated Fat: 0.6 g
Monounsaturated Fat: 1.8 g
Polyunsaturated Fat: 0.8 g
Dietary Fiber: 12.0 g
Sodium: 85 mg
Cholesterol: 0 mg

Excellent source of vitamins A and C, thiamine, folacin, phosphorus, iron, magnesium, manganese, copper and selenium. Good source of vitamin E (alpha-tocopherol), niacin, riboflavin, calcium and zinc. Source of pantothenic acid. Contains a very high amount dietary fiber.

No one can deny that we live in stressful times—on a global scale and in most of our personal lives. The turmoil of everyday life can take a toll on us both physically and emotionally. No wonder we snap at the cashier in the grocery store or feel a compelling urge to ram our cars into the jerk that cut us off on the highway. The tension we let fester inside amplifies the minor problems we face everyday. So what’s the solution? Learn to laugh more. Seriously. Laughter is a proven antidote to stress hormones and it can help make the most difficult situations feel a little more tolerable.

Pamela Aye Simon, a Masters Level Registered Dietitian, Lifestyle Coach and author of the newly released “Book of Blah: Random Thoughts for Boring Days” (Warren Publishing, Inc) believes that most us need a refresher course to regain our sense of humor. “I see so many people who are stressed out and find themselves going berserk over minor issues,” says Simon. “We need to learn to take a deep breath, assess the situation and then laugh at the inane nature of it all. Life feels softer if you can see the humorous story behind your frustrations. Laughing may not make the problem itself disappear but it sure helps makes things seem better.”

Simon isn’t alone in valuing the benefits of humor. Researchers at Loma Linda University’s Schools of Medicine and Public Health tout the health benefits of laughter. They’ve discovered that laughter increases the body’s ability to use oxygen. It also lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones and even boosts the immune system, making it a key weapon in your arsenal to combat the ravages of stress.

That all-natural stress relief is one of the primary reasons Simon strives to find humor in things that many people find frustrating—menopause for example. “Let’s be real; menopause is a fact of life for women, we can’t avoid it,” says Simon. “Instead of getting angry about it or complaining I look at the advantages. Thanks to my hot flashes, I can save a LOT of money on winter clothing!”

Aging and hormones aren’t the only issues that we should tackle with humor. Family issues are one of the biggest and most demanding stressors we all face. Whether we have acrimonious relationships with our in-laws or an obnoxious relative that everyone tries to pretend is normal. Each family struggles with its own issues and laughter can be a great coping mechanism when it’s time to gather all the relatives together.

“I have definitely learned to lighten up and laugh at family dynamics,” says Simon. “I like to sit back and observe the members of my family—dysfunctional behaviors come so naturally to us that we make unhealthy interactions look easy. It’d be a shame to wreck the fun by getting help! Seriously, learning to accept the reality of our families and see the humor of our foibles and flaws is often the best way to deal with it because we can’t change other people. But we can change our approach and learn to laugh more.”

About the Author:

Pam Aye Simon, MS, RD, LD is a Masters-Level Registered Dietitian. She has served as a research dietitian, formulating laboratory procedures for product testing and coordinating nutritional studies. Simon has published several articles on nutrition and a book, called “Chubby No More.”

She is a Certified Life Coach, specializing in diet dysfunction, i.e. healing the spirit from damages incurred by failed weight loss attempts. Simon, who is also a yoga instructor, has created Lazy Ladies’ Fitness- a fitness program for non-exercising individuals.

Simon is an accomplished musician who’s studied voice and played and taught French horn for many years. She and her family live in Arlington Heights, Illinois with various rescued animals. To learn more about Pam please visit her website: www.chubbynomore.org.

Available At: www.amazon.com, www.bn.com, www.borders.com, www.chubbynomore.com

What is fitness?
The state or condition of being fit.

What are your fitness goals?
To lose weight…
Eat better…
Reduce stress…
How do you plan to meet those goals?

Everyone’s needs are different.  For some, we need someone to start us off on our path.  We may need a friend to attend classes with us to keep us motivated.  Anyone can join the gym, sign the papers and pay your money – but are you committed?  Do the instructors or staff care if you show up?  Are they guiding you along your path of health and longevity?  We need inner strength to commit to our overall fitness intentions and follow through to completion.  This is where yoga stands alone among all the other fitness routines we could choose.

Yoga is the cornerstone of any fitness routine.  It is a unique science and is the most complete approach to a healthy lifestyle. It challenges our mind, body and the very nature of our being. Yoga is, perhaps, the only discipline through which an individual can truly experience inner balance. Let us try and understand the distinction between yoga and regular fitness programs with the help of the following table:

Regular Fitness Programs                                                    Yoga

Goal oriented                                                                             Process oriented – always exploring

Improves physical element of the body only                        Improves physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well                                                                                                       being

Competitive                                                                                Non-competitive, non-judgmental, personal

Physical exertion                                                                       Physical exertion plus relaxation

Opportunity to fail when not meeting your goals                 Success is inevitable

Weight training builds muscle,  creating a bulky look        Yoga strengthens muscle tissue by toning them,                                                                                                                   creating a sleek and strong look

You may fee tired and burnt out                                              You feel refreshed and rejuvenated

Added benefits of yoga

Relieves stress by slow, rhythmic breathing techniques.  It can help you to stay healthy by bringing in more oxygen, increasing blood circulation and thereby increasing boosting our immunity naturally.

Yoga makes you physically strong.  Down dog, plank, warrior poses, sun salutations – all these poses combined make you strong from the inside out.

Weight drops from yoga – by breathing, moving, stretching and focusing on the present moment – you are better equipped to make correct decisions about your food choices.

Healthy habits start from the inside out.  You make a choice to be healthy. Once it’s made in your mind – you put a plan into action.  Supportive guidance from a certified yoga instructor can help anyone follow the path to a more well-balanced life.  It is important to remember that yoga does not always mean movement.  It may be quiet and focused thought, slow and methodical breath, awareness and focus.  When we quiet the mind, we hear the most.

Future longevity will combine wellness therapies for our health.  Yoga, massage, acupuncture, aromatherapy and basic good eating habits are all a way to stay healthy and fit.  Exploring natural alternative therapies as healing modalities.