“The supreme happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved – loved for ourselves or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”   – Victor Hugo

Serious scientific inquiry has proven this quote to be true.   By all measures of health and well being, the single most significant predictor of life time happiness and longevity is being involved in an intimate and loving relationship.    It is true across seventeen cultures and in longitudinal studies of historic events that the people who fared the best even through traumas like war and the Great Depression were the people in stable partnerships and families.

Yet even with all this evidence of the power of loving bonds, we are caught in a culture that throws away relationships as though they were used up convenience foods.   What is the deal?    Are some people just lucky in love?   Some of it may be luck. If you grew up as a wanted and beloved child of someone then the chances are good that a positive and secure romantic style is on your side.    If you didn’t have these advantages then chances are you fall into the avoidant or anxious romantic styles.    All of these profiles or personality traits are linked to a child’s ability to attach early in life. New research suggests that these early childhood patterns go a long way in explaining people’s life long struggles with relationships.

As the names suggest, avoidant and anxious romantic profiles can make it difficult for people to learn the very different skills of being able to both receive and give love.   If your childhood experiences didn’t give you many positive memories and experiences of trust, it may be very difficult for you to approach your current relationships with any level of confidence that you will be loved.   Because our expectations and our beliefs about our relationships form the basis for how we communicate and behave in them, it becomes easier to see how many people continuously make bad decisions about the relationships they choose.

And yet the story does not end there. Many neglected and not well loved children of the world have gone on to heal their belief systems and live out loving stories.   I am among them.    It doesn’t happen easily, but learning the skills of loving is possible for all of us.   For many of us the key is learning to believe that we are worthy of love.   Having compensated for so many years, we may be experts at the skills of loving others, but until we do the hard work of realizing “in spite of ourselves”, we are lovable, we may never have a moment when our relationships feel secure.

If there is any key to this work it is that love is a verb and seeing ourselves as loveable is an act that must be a part of every day.

Husband and wife team, Victor & May Cue, have just launched a new children’s clothing line called Cue-T by Organic Couture.  The line consists of onsies and T’s all made of 100% Organic Cotton. The designs are geared toward socially responsible trendy moms and tots.  The new collection features fresh designs that empower youngsters to go green, support the troops, and seek peace. This new line for children is not only environmentally friendly; it is what’s new in fashion. Cue-T wants everyone to capture the understanding that “Green is The New Black”

Cue-T is a Green Company.  This means that they do everything in their power to be an environmentally friendly corporation.  The hangtags on the shirts, business cards, and packaging supplies are all made of eco-friendly materials.  All purchases come wrapped in a recycled box printed with soy-based inks that can be reused.  All work practices are performed while keeping the earth in mind.

Organic cotton has many benefits.  From a health perspective, the only way to go is green.  Regular cotton has invisible irritants, pesticides and chemical dyes but organic cotton is made naturally and chemical free.   It can be worn by anyone with chemical sensitivities, unable to wear conventional cotton because of allergic reactions to the dyes and the chemical traces it contains.  By using organic cotton, we can prevent water pollution, pesticide poisoning of nationally distributed crops, and the killing of millions of birds and fish, from pesticides, each year.

Although Cue-T is a relatively new company 2008 is already looking to be a busy year.  In Store for the coming year is hosting a  Celebrity Suite for the Golden Globe Awards, trade shows such as Magic, in Las Vegas, &  All Things Organic, features in Magazines, such as Parents and many more fundraising and environmental events.
Cue-T by Organic Couture can be found at www.Cue-T.com and at exclusive Boutiques.  Prices range from $25.00 to $30.00.

The holidays are a time for family, friends, gift-giving, sharing and of course, lots of food.  It is almost impossible to lose weight around the holidays (and who wants to when there is pumpkin pie and sweet potatoes abound?), but you can still maintain your weight and fight the holiday bulge with the right mindset and flavorful yet healthy recipes.  Ellen Haas, author of Fit Food offers a solution via healthy recipes that help you to eat well and stay fit whether you are dieting or not this holiday season.

The daily decisions we make about food affect our mood and bodies, and the holidays are no exception.  Eating an abundance of unhealthy foods can lead to unhealthy weight gain, lack of energy and mood swings.  Vegetables, fruit, grains, poultry, fish, meat and dairy should all constitute part of our daily diet. Ellen Haas shows readers how to manage their weight through portion control and provides readers with nourishing recipes that are both satisfying and delicious.  Created by top chefs, you might just want to skip Aunt Norma’s pumpkin pie this year.

Try this ‘Lemony Risotto with Asparagus and Shrimp’ as a great alternative to mashed potatoes or creamed spinach.

Lemony Risotto with Asparagus and Shrimp

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 40 minutes
Serves 4

Ingredients
1 cup asparagus, trimmed and cut into 2 lengths
4 cups low-sodium chicken broth
Salt to taste
Freshly ground black pepper
2 teaspoons olive oil
1/3 cup diced onions
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 clove garlic, minced
½teaspoon finely grated lemon zest
1 cup Arborio rice
½cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Cooking Instructions
1.Cook the asparagus in a pot of well-salted boiling water until it is crisp-tender, about 3 minutes.  Drain.  Transfer the asparagus to a bowl of ice water.  When the asparagus is cool, drain and refrigerate.  (This can be done ahead and stored in the refrigerator for 1 day).

2.Heat the chicken broth in a saucepan, season well with salt and pepper, and keep hot over
low heat.

3.Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a separate medium-size pot.  Add the onion, season lightly with salt and pepper, and cook until it turns translucent, about 5 minutes.

4.Turn the heat to high, add the shrimp, garlic, and lemon zest, and season with salt and pepper.  Cook the shrimp until they are just opaque, about 2 minutes.  Transfer the shrimp to a plate and set aside.

5.Add the rice to the onions in the pot, stir, and turn the heat to low.  Add about 1 cup of the hot broth to the rice mixture and stir slowly until the broth is absorbed.  Continue to add the broth 1 cup at a time, stirring slowly, letting the rice absorb the broth before adding more.

6.The risotto is cooked when it is creamy on the outside and slightly firm (al dente) in the center, about 20 to 25 minutes total.  Stir in the shrimp, half of the Parmesan cheese, and half of the asparagus.  Season with salt and pepper to taste.  If the risotto is too thick, add a little more broth until it becomes creamy.

7.Divide the risotto into warm serving dishes and sprinkle with the remaining cheese and asparagus.

With recipes from top chefs such as Michael Romano, Alice Waters and Roberto Donna, Fit Food will help you celebrate a happy and healthy holiday.

Makes 32 truffles
This dark, rich confection is the perfect treat for true chocoholics.  Feel free to adjust the level of sweetness to your own taste.  If you prefer a creamier consistency, just add and extra 2 tablespoons of cream.

Ingredients:
½ cup + 2 tablespoons heavy (whipping) cream
8 ounces unsweetened bakers’ chocolate
1 ½ tablespoons butter
1/3 cup agave nectar
½ teaspoon vanilla
½ cup pecans
½ cup dehydrated shredded coconut, unsweetened

Place the heavy cream in a heavy saucepan on your stovetop’s lowest heat setting.  Break the chocolate into smaller pieces and add to the cream.  Add the butter, agave nectar (dark or light, both work), and vanilla.  Continue heating the mixture, stirring constantly, until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth.
Place the mixture unto and 8 inch square pan and chill in the refrigerator for about an hour or until the chocolate mixture is firm.
While the mixture is chilling, spread the pecans on a baking sheet and toast lightly under the broiler.  Watch them carefully and remove the nuts as soon as they begin to brown.  Place the nuts in a food processor or choppers and cup until finely minced.  Set aside in a small bowl.
Place the coconut in a separate small dish.
When the chocolate mixture is firm, remove it from the refrigerator.  Using a teaspoon, scoop walnut-sized portions of chocolate from the dish.  Then, roll each scoop of chocolate into small bite-sized balls.  Roll half the balls in chopped pecans and half in the coconut to coat.  Store, covered, in the refrigerator until ready to serve.  Remove about an hour before serving for creamier consistency.  Tastes best at room temperature.

Note: Agave Nectar, a breakthrough sweetener product by Madhava Honey, is now available to consumers in local grocery and natural food stores throughout the United States. Visit online at www.madhavahoney.com

Cup Couture’s new 2007 Holiday Collection of Cupcoats are so festive and fun they will get everyone in the holiday spirit.  Gingerbread Lattes and Peppermint Mochas will taste even better with one of these bright and cheery Cupcoats wrapped around them and they’ll look great too!

Not only are Cup Couture’s Holiday Cupcoats a fun way to spread the holiday cheer but they are also a great way to help the environment as they are reusable unlike most cardboard sleeves.  Offered in 7 beautiful patterns these Cupcoats are the perfect pre-holiday gift for everyone in your family, office or coffee shop.  So spread the joy with a Candy Cane, Poinsettia or Starry Night Cupcoat this holiday season!

Cupcoats come in one size that fits most 12, 16, and 20 oz. disposable paper cups and fold flat for easy storage in a purse or pocket.  $13.00

www.cupcouture.com

Jamie Young is a proud dog owner and urges everyone to think ‘outside the can’. He lives in Australia, with his dog, co-star, and chief taster, Frodo, his beloved American Staffordshire terrier. Before he started this project Jamie had no idea that all the Vets on TV in Australia were either sponsored or employed by the processed food industry. The lack of widely available fresh pet food information inspired Jamie to take matters into his own hands. The result?  GRRRRowlicious Food for HUNGRY DOGS: A delicious menu of “easy to do” dog food recipes!

www.grrrr.com.au

Check out the oversized lip balms from Pangea Organics… three flavors include Italian Red Mandarin with Rose, Pyrenees Lavender with Cardamon, and Egyptian Fennel with Grapefruit and Sweet Orange!  D-I-V-I-N-E!   Makes a great stocking stuffer. $13.00 each

www.pangeaorganics.com

The the Early Bird Candle makes a beautiful gift packaged in a unique container complete with a gift tag. Each therapeutic aromatherapy blend combines only the finest essential oils with the purest beeswax. Absolutely no fragrance or synthetic scents are used. Available in Gingergrass Tangerine (orange), French Lavender (purple) and Lemon Geranium (yellow).  $22.95.

www.organicbouquet.com

Include some of thes adorable matches from 2Pyromaineiacs and you have the perfect holiday gift!

www.2pyromaineiacs.com

Abrioné’s new Chakra Masques… For Your Friends Needing a Little Help Aligning Themselves

These Chakra Masques make the perfect holiday gift for friends and coworkers and are tons of fun for holiday parties!

Originating thousands of years ago in the ancient Hindu system of healing, the seven chakras each reflect a different color and aspect of consciousness from wisdom and self-expression to love and sexuality.

Identify your most needy chakra by allowing the colors to speak to you.  With seven individual colors corresponding to each chakra, Abrioné’s new masques help to stabilize chakras that are not balanced while all-natural premium ingredients including Green Tea, Shea Butter, Pomegranate, Ylang-Ylang, Cucumber and Jojoba Oil moisturize and help revive cold weather skin. Visit www.vbcosmetics.com.

Price: $30

Instead of shopping or going to another party – make time for intimacy.  Create a gentle and tender space where both partners can feel safe, loved and accepted for what they are able to bring to the partnership.  This might be an evening of hot cocoa and an old movie.   Maybe it is a walk on a cold evening where you can see your breath as you speak.   Whatever will actually help you to remember and appreciate  what you love about your partner is the best gift you can give each other in this holiday season.   Creating the time for an intimate holiday might actually provide a whole new understanding of the idea of burning the yuletide fire and could actually get one going.

Make your holiday gift giving lasting power by focusing on gifts that can feed your connection and relationship.   Create a special private time to exchange gifts that inspire intimacy.   Silk sheets and lingerie lure you into spending more time in the bedroom where real loving gifts can be exchanged.  Give yourselves permission to explore   intimacy gifts that open up a  world of  loving touch and passion.  Things that come to mind are beautiful Lelo pleasure objects, or rabbit fur mitts to massage each other with.  .

Consider feeding all of your senses when you give gifts to enhance the pleasure and connection in your relationship.  Giving the gift of scent is a great way to wake up the limbic part of your brain, where emotion, sexuality and memory are usually sleeping. Include a hand made coupon for a sensuous massage to seal the deal.

Gift giving at its best shows the people that we love that we know them and appreciate them for who they are.  I am always deeply touched when my husband picks out something that he knows that I would choose for myself.  It tells me that he is paying attention to the small details of what matters for me.   The idea that it’s the thought that counts is cliché because it is so true.  When my kids search all over town for a better container for my tea than the last one they gave me, they are telling me that they know how much I need my tea.  When we give people that we love gifts that are about us, proving something about our spending ability or what we think they should be like, even the best of intentions can easily be misread.  Many women would rather have a new bottle of their favorite night crème than a bottle of expensive perfume, because the night crème says I see how you live and I love you.

The Gift of  Presence

It’s easy to get so lost in the momentum of holiday activities and the seemingly endless to-do-lists that we forget what the holidays are for.  There is always more to do than there is time for, and probably never quite so acutely as during the holidays.  Gift giving drives a lot of the frenzy and although we can point to all the cultural mania driving us to purchase our good holiday feelings, for many of us there is a legitimate desire to really give something that feels meaningful and is a true reflection of our love.

Every now and again we are fortunate enough to know of a particular thing that is desired… Better still when we have the exact make and model number… but short of those golden opportunities where the desire matches our ability to give, there is precious little that we can offer in the way of material goods that can communicate our deepest feelings.  The power of advertising further complicates this by making us believe that certain gifts will speak volumes about our love- diamonds, flowers and fine chocolate are a few that come to mind.

While those are all nice gifts, I don’t know if I have ever gotten a more authentic sense of my partner’s love for me than when he has taken the time and gotten over the inconvenience factor to show up for me.  Some years this has been in the small mundane tasks of trying to get gifts wrapped for our four kids late into the night.  Other holidays, it was night after night of drawing a bath for me and reminding me to give myself the attention I so readily give away to others.   A couple of romantic holidays ago, it was making a romantic bed by the fireplace.   The best gifts have always been him giving himself.

Giving the gift of our presence is the best because what we all want most is to know that we are not alone in the world.  What this looks like in a day to day way is that our partner is committed not only in words but in actions as well to helping meet our needs.  Feeling like there is someone at your back who cares enough to help, makes our lives and our relationships sustainable.   It’s a gift that keeps on giving and is never the wrong size or color.  It is the most precious gift of all.