A promise is a commitment you make with your heart. Promises are not like other decisions that we make that have open ended options of easy termination if it doesn’t suit our needs or doesn’t make us happy. The act of promising releases the right to reason on some level, because keeping a promise requires…
When I teach about the Ecology of Love and talk about the water that lives between people I often use the term “showing up” to describe the flow that happens in relationships. In relationships, like the ocean, there is an ebb and tide to how we are present for each other, but if the water…
“You are what you love, not what loves you. That’s what I decided a long time ago.” I have remembered this concluding line of a conversation between Nicolas Cage and himself (when he played the twin writer brothers in the 2002 movie “Adaptation”) for over five years. I have many times thought back on it…
“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need…” That Rolling Stones refrain is playing in my head repeatedly of late and it seems clear that this is as true a love song as I have ever known. Although I would never have thought it in my…
I haven’t been very interested in dating lately, as I have too many other things going on. Should I feel more like dating? Everyone around me says I should. -H.M Dear H.M., This is such a fabulous question–thank you! So often, we are absolutely fine with the way our life is going until someone around…
I should work out more. I should wait to apply for that position until I’m more qualified. I should want to get married and have children. Sound familiar? If you ever find yourself making choices based on what others (parents, friends, religious leaders, co-workers, etc.) think you should do, rather than what your heart desires…