So, grab a cup of tea and read on…who knows, you just might find some great ideas for your own life…
Heather Strang, and co-author Brooke Emery, wrote the upcoming book Stop Shoulding On Yourself! A Woman’s Guide From Obligation to Inspiration. The book encourages women to live from an authentic and should-free space.
Dear Heather, -K.B.
I’ve heard a lot about the benefits of meditation for your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical health. I feel like I should be able to sit for 20 minutes in silence like all of the experts recommend. But I can’t, matter how hard I try. I want to be more connected, but I’m not sure how to “do” meditation right. Help!
First, congrats on your efforts to become more centered and connected! The question you present is a fantastic one–What do we do when something good turns into a should?
Start off by assessing why you want to meditate. Really take a close look at your motivation. Is it because everyone you know is talking about it or because it’s featured on the cover of every mainstream magazine? Or is it a desire coming from deep inside of you? Take 5 to 10 minutes, go someplace quiet and journal until you have clarity on this. Part of living a should-free life means staying connected to the reasons why you do the things you do, so that you always know if something is a should or a real desire.
Once you’ve uncovered your true motivation (“it’s something I want for me”, as opposed to I “should” meditate) you’re ready to move on to the next step.
Toss aside all the magazine articles, recommendations and suggestions from friends about meditation. Your practice is exactly that–yours. And that means it needs to make sense for you.
If you haven’t done so already, I recommend exploring some of the different forms of meditation out there, such as guided meditations that you can listen to on CD/iPod, chakra balancing, mantra-inspired meditations and the like. The important part is to find what feels GOOD to you.
When all else fails, keep it simple:
-Go sit in a quiet spot.
-Close your eyes.
-Breathe.
-When thoughts stampede your mind (which they no doubt will), say to yourself, “Thinking”. The thoughts will scatter and you can go back to silence.
-Stop whenever you feel like it’s time.
Also keep in mind that meditation is like exercise, it’s more effective over the long term. It doesn’t have to be 20-30 minutes a day. It can be 5. Or 10. Or it can be whatever you need it to be.
Living a should-free life means honoring what feels right for you. If something feels wrong, it probably is. When these feelings come up, always look closely into it; uncover what’s really there and then create your own way.
When you follow what you really want, you can never go wrong.
Much love & blessings Have a question about this topic or any other? Next month we’ll focus on the should’s surrounding your CAREER. Send your questions to: heather@heatherstrang.com.
Heather