Making Love Sustainable Part 2 by Wendy Strgar

Making time for love is an important barometer of the commitment and sustainability of your relationship.   When you consider the outrageous scheduling hoops we agree to without qualm in our work setting or even more intense in managing our children’s activity calendar, it makes you wonder, how the idea of scheduling intimacy could still be so taboo.

Yet, taboo it is; with an overriding belief that sex and intimacy are somehow tainted if they are not spontaneous and immediate.  This belief system, connected to the shame and guilt we carry around from our adolescence when we could only describe a make out session if we could first say, “I don’t know how it happened, but suddenly we were just doing it…”    We can only fully embrace our sexuality if it just happens to us, planning for it forces us to claim the most unpredictable and to some degree uncontrollable part of our life.

There are a lot of good reasons to start including love time in your regular schedule.  Leaving love to the spontaneous in a life that is overbooked with commitments to family and careers, means that our love often gets the lowest ebb of our energy.  Most of us arrive at our bedrooms exhausted, finally turning away from the last email, the last bill to be paid,  the last dish to be washed, the last light turned off.  Even the most spontaneous among us can barely muster the energy of imagining a wild interlude at that moment.